red velvet mite.

a promise after the rain.

i had meant to write, but things kept collapsing. my joy, my internet, so forth. i get a little angry at dad for not showing up in my dreams in the last couple days, while he knows that i miss him. and i listen to some more noah kahan to scream out the anger, only to get more angry when my voice breaks in all the high notes. i skim through the Bible, at 2am sometimes, and the only thing i see, is “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35)

like oh my God, i wish you knew how ashamed i am, to admit that i cry in the morning, like a ritual, like a prayer, like brushing my teeth. up until i feel a funny feeling in my ribs, like my own breath tickling me, and i laugh.

do you know how the air becomes clear and light after it rains? it kinda feels like that, after the tears.

a little backstory, i used to pick red velvet mites when i was younger, every time after the rain. velvety and red, like a tiny santa claus, it made me laugh. i haven’t seen red velvet mites in years and i miss them so bad. but after the tears and a shower, i feel a funny feeling in my ribs, and i laugh, as if i’m holding a red velvet mite again.

so my friend, for the promise of red velvet mites and funny feelings in our ribs, i say, let it rain.

PS; follow for more crying advice, hehehe…